Story time...I need advice

[CORNBREAD]

So i'm divorced since 3 months ago. About 6 weeks ago I started talking to one of my co-workers and we hit it off instantly. Problem is she has been with her boyfriend for 5 years. I've known this girl for 4 years and although I thought she was attractive I NEVER EVER WOULD HAVE IMAGINED I WOULD FALL FOR HER!

The last 5 weeks we have been together 24/7. If not physically (we haven't slept with eachother yet) then by phone, cell phone and even text messaging at work!

This is where i'm fucked. Yesterday she left for Europe w/ her man for 2 weeks to go on vacation. I knew from the beginning that this was all going down but yesterday as we were saying goodbye it hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven't eaten in 2 days, my place is a pigstye. I havent showered and besides going to Target I havent left my place. I'm not afraid to admit that i'm in love with her and am crushed shes gone for 2 weeks. There is no way she can call me since she is with her boyfriend. She told me yesterday she loves me before she left. We have been talking about **gasp** marriage and kids! I never gave her an ultimatium as to leave her boyfriend and i never said don't go on the trip. I feel it's too early and if you tell someone to choose between somone they are stable with for 5 years or a 5 week romance usually they choose the stable one. Guys I can't stop thinking about her. I'm afraid she will forget what we had and realize during her european trip that she loves her boyfriend! I never would have waited for someone who has a boyfriend but this one is worth it. She was even texting me from his place on weekends telling me she misses me and loves me.

On Wednesday she called me crying telling me she told her mom that she is seeing me! That's a powermove considering they are old-fashioned Polish immigrants who are devout catholics. They've known her boyfriend for 5 years and it took her mom 2 years to warm up to a non pole. (He's Portuguse).

I have been feeling like a 16 year old girl in love for the 1st time and i'm not afraid to admit it. If this was only about sex i wouldn't care and wouldn't even waste my time and emotions but damn it it's more than that. The reason i'm posting this here is because no one in my real life knows because i'm embarrased to tell them i'm waiting out a relationship.

What should i do? Will she forget what we have? How do i keep myself busy and not think about this? Her image and just talking/kissing/holding her are right in front of me and won't go way. The mind is a powerful thing man!